Heartssetbacks

Hi , Bye.

2010-05-03T12:40:00.001+08:00

HI THERE , YES I'M BEEN INDECISIVE ONCE AGAIN.
BACK @ SCARSANDWOUNDS

I'm still down on my knees.

2010-02-23T08:31:00.000+08:00

My computer is still down. ):

I'm like so screwed because of it as it affects my art project.

Andandand, I miss AmandaL !

Rarrrrrrrrrr ):

BRBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB. hopefully soon.

Because tonight will be the night .

2010-02-01T13:10:00.000+08:00

I'M SO SCREWED DUE TO ART.

AND FML , MY COMPUTER IS DEAD.

BRB.

It was just a dream about us.

2010-01-10T02:16:00.001+08:00

" With you around by me , it makes my day without fail "

FUCXK.FUCXK.FUCXK.

My computer's down. Like seriously , I have no idea what had happened to it.

Pretty upset over it though , no computer means no blogging etc.

I hate it whenever I'm like into blogging and stuff , and there goes my computer.

Shixt.

Phone has been sent for repair. Hopefully will be back when I return from camp next week. Will try my best to update my blog whenever I can.

Heading to camp next week from Wednesday till Friday or Saturday I think.

HAWHAW. It better be good. Didn't attend Flag Day today as I overslept.

Got up as I received tons of calls and texts , AmandaLai was one of them and she was already below my block waiting for me.

Came all the way down to find me and stay over . HEHEHEH ^^ She fucxking bought down her laptop for me to use. So sweet of her to do so. Love you baby ! Went to Mac for my utra late dinner and lepak there while waiting for Bert to arrive. He took forever to reach even though he was somewhere near Bedok. After that , they came over to my place and downloaded movies to keep us entertained.

Heard another bad news today , seriously FML.

I can't believe this is happening to all of us when it's just the beginning of the year. Like seriously , what's wrong with each and every of us.

Why can't we all just be like last time?

Oh wellz , I shall remained forcus in my life right now.

I'll cherish each and everyone that's around me.

Hopefully , things will be back to normal soon.

Before I forget , Amanda told me something that made me laughed like a mad woman @ Mac.

' 50centssssssssssssssssssss ' (bet you guys don't get what I mean, only she knows what I mean <:) I shall end here right now. Off to watch our movies.

Love,

What will happen to all of us when things gets worst?
Will there still be us in the future?
Why can't we be like how we used to be ? Why can't we forgive and forget one another?
Just remember that I'll love you guys for who you are and not what you are.
xxoxo.

You're gentle kiss is the medicine to cure my pain ,

2010-01-08T16:34:00.000+08:00

" To you , with love "

School was a breeze today , thankfully.

Name was called right after morning assembly and headed to the general office.

It was a all smile conversation and not an intense one.

Thank God.

Still have to do something about my hair , but hopefully they'll forget all about it on Monday.

I was sucha good student today , I copied down notes not only for myself but for Dean and Yr.

And I can remember every single bitz of it due to it.

I've not attended any Art lessons yet and I'm very upset over it :(

I miss Mrs Tay , my cutie pieeeeeeeee.

She gets embarrassed whenever I call her that. :P Gave my lunch break a miss as I totally didn't have the appetite and suffered some pains .

Shoot myself. Oh wellz , after school , there were many people crowding at the bubbletea shop .

Apparently , there was some 'issues' going on.

EastView as never been peaceful for once.

After waiting for the rest to arrive , went to Tampines Connector and chilledz.

Talked things out with one another and I'm gald that things are fine right now. Only thing troubling me badly right now is my childhood friend.

I'm very hurt and upset upon hearing what Yr told me.

I can't believe you've decided to do sucha thing. I really don't know what is in your mind right now.

Do we really need to be like this right now? Can't you come school regulary and don't miss lessons?

It's seriously a bad time to miss school these days. For your own sake , it's Olvls this year.

I hope you'll reconsider what you've done.

Went home after that while the rest went to DTE.

Was so moodless that I had to text ChanelAmanda and pour out my feelings to her.

Didn't wanted to head out but thanks to her confronting and her ways to try to make me laugh , I felt much better , thanks babe.

I'm like lost right now , I've no idea what else to do online but to blog.

I'm like super early @ blogging today.

Gonna prepare at 6plus and head down to Bedok to meet ChanelAmandaElouiseLai and her friend , Bert.

Flag Day's tomorrow and gonna meet Yr + Dean + D in the morningggggggggggg at Mac.

OMG OMG OMG. I hope I'll be able to make it.

Once again , I love each and every one of you ttm .

xxoxo.

Talking in bed ought to be easiest.
Lying together there goes back so far.
An emblem of two people being honest.
Yet more and more time passes silently ,
Outside, the wind's incomplete unrest ,
Builds and disperses clouds about the sky.
And dark towns heap up on the horizon.
None of this cares for us . Nothing shows why
At this unique distance from isolation.
It becomes still more difficult to find
Wors at once true and kind,
Or not untrue and not unkind.

- Phillip Larkin

Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends

2010-01-07T23:43:00.001+08:00

"If a man does not make new acquaintance as he advances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man, Sir, should keep his friendship in constant repair."

- Samuel Johnson , British lexiographer.

These are the guys + Deborah that makes my day go round in school.

Some of them have known me since I was a primary school kiddo , some only when I started my secondary school life.

I wonder why God give us friends.

I believe the answer is because he wants us to learn from each other and cherish each other while we can.

Yes , in friendship , there will be both good and bad times.

Through thick and thin , I believe only in the very end we will know who are true friends are.

Most of us came from different school , background , families , etc.

I believe that it was fate playing the part by letting us all get to know each other.

I'll be honest and say that to me , it's a great joy to have you guys by me.

I know that I do have an annoying temper at times , I understand that everyone has a limit.

Thanks so much for being there for me whenever I need you guys.

It seriously breaks my heart after seeing what has happened these days.

Like what people say , in the blink of an eye , many things can change .

It's true . I believe that.

I still recall how we got to know each other, how some of us used to freaking hate each other to the core!

I still recall how we finally got together as a group , how we did crazy things together , how we skipped lessons together , how we talked to each other's parents , how we used to go drinking together and get wasted.

I recall how wasted I would get and you guys would never fail to take good care of me.

I really do miss those good old' days , guys.

To (fill in the blanks) :

I'm really very upset and disturbed upon hearing what you've done. I told you before what would happened.

I didn't expect you to turn out this way . I really did not. I trust that you really did love her and it all seems to be just a show. Was it my fault to introduce her to you ?

Was it my fault for quarrelling with you which led to what's happening to all of us right now?

Was it all my fault?

I just can't believe that you are into trouble right now just because of such minor incident.

You told us that you had a dream , a very big one indeed. But have you really thought about it?

Imagine , in the future you could realised your dream , but the only thing stopping you is the incident that you've committed , won't you regret it?

Sighs.

I really do miss how we used to meet up at the coffeeshop before heading to school.

I miss the times where we would all disturb each other by walking past each other's class and calling the person's name.

I do miss the times where we would meet at the bubbletea and have sticks , i miss the times where we would go home together and talking non-stop about almost everything and anything.

I really miss the times where we would birthday bash each other.

I miss the times when you guys give in to me cause I'm the youngest.

If I could turn back time and just freeze that moment of joy , won't it be better?

What have gotten into us recently?

It seemed that everything we used to say in the past are bullshixtz.

Are they? ......

I feel like as though I'm the cause of everything. I feel awful inside out.

What happened to the times when we would annoy our teacher by pretending to sleep in class?

What happened to us taking ridiculous pictures even during lesson time?

Something is seriously wrong.

We're not who we are anymore.

People change , yes they do .

I'm fearful , I'm scared , I'm going bonkers.

An angel appeared in my dream telling me what friends are for.

Friends are always there for you whenever you're down ,

whenever you need someone to talk to ,

whenever you need to tell them a secret ,

whenever you are feeling overjoyed , whenever you break up with someone ,

whenever you achieve something in your life , whenever you get hell from your parents or teachers.

In short , friends are there whenever you need them.

Please come back to me , good old days.

I really miss it all .

I don't wish to see us this way . I don't wish to end things this way .

When tomorrow comes , I hope that everything would be fine.

No hatred please , just peace.

Once again , you guys are already a part of me.

God bless us tomorrow , I'm feeling so emotional right now , I can't think straight.

I'll always love each and every of you guys dearly.

With loads of love , your littlest sister.

Joanne Josie Elizabeth

Fill in this empty space with your soul.

2010-01-07T22:25:00.000+08:00

" Because tonight , the stars are shining for us "

It's officially the 4th day of school.

Thankfully nothing happened to me and the day went smoothly without any issues or troubles.

Went to school early however went in late due to the rain and had to wait for Aloysius to arrive.

It was freezing in the morning and the rain was kinda unexpected.

Saw my Dm a couple of times today. She had no issues with me.

I'm a happy kid now (V). Like finally , I hope that I won't have any issues with her anymore. Today's period seemed to pass by so quickly that I didn't realised it was finally break time.

Followed by assembly . Camp. Should I go or not?

I'll miss my bed when I go for sure.

However , it's the last camp everrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Shixt.screwed.shixt.

Finally gotten my textbooks and stuff.

This year's books are like so little yet thick :(

I'm already starting to feel the pressure.

I wonder why does my friends that have taken Olvl said that it's easy when there's sucha great pressure on?

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Went over to TP's open house today.

It was rather alright. But I'm so not going for RP's open house tomorrow.

We did nothing but just walk around and apparently there were other schools too + those that are entitled to appeal for TP.

Saw Andy and a friend of mine even texted me to ask whether I was going there or notttttttttt when I've already left the place ._.

Had my very very late lunch outside school.

Chilledz out a little with Yr and Dean before going back home.

Goodnight cruel world.

Glass hailed from the sky that night
I couldn't hide to save my life
Standing drenched in open wounds
You took my hand and pulled me through.

Solo a piedi fuori dalla porta e non guardare indietro,

2010-01-06T21:00:00.017+08:00

" As I look up into the sky , I could see nothing but your face "

SCHOOL WAS SO SCREWED UP YESTERDAYYYYYYYYYY.

As expected , Andy , Dean , Yr and myself were all called up to head to the general office immediately after morning assembly.

Bloody school , I'll tolerate the shixt you're giving me.

Trust me , I'll bear with it and make sure you have no fucxking reasons to pick on me.

Dyed my hair back to black , and it's fading to brown once again.

A total waste of money like seriously.

After questioning us , both of them(andy and dean) were told to get back to class while they send me home to get my house dyed.

Like seriously , totally bullshitty.

Because it's my last year in this school , I had no choice but to dye it back.

I rather just dye it then not going to school because of it.

:(((((((((((((((

Got my dye and went home to get it all done.

Can anyone introduce me some good and funny taiwan dramas with english subtitles please?

I've watched both Momolove and Hi my sweetheart to the point whereby I have to wait for the next episode to be uploaded or show on air.

Anddddddddddddddd, I'm bored to death.

Mommy got home pretty late and thankfully she bought food for me.

Nearly died while waiting for her to bring food back for me :(

In short , I wasted my day today and I'm very unhappy about it.

I'm feeling so sleepy now.

Goodnight , xxoxo.

Somewhere tonight , you may be found,
with some other girls you've been dragging around.
You lied to yourself , you lied to me , you lied to the whole world.
It seems that the truth is your worst enemy.
♥♥♥

Perché il mondo è meraviglioso.

2010-01-05T18:05:00.000+08:00

"Dimmi perché mi sento in questo modo quando sei in giro?"

2nd day of school for the record.

I swear it was a screwed up day , screwed up 2themaxz.

Got up late for school and had to cab all the way down to school.

Saw some people I didn't really expected and for some reason , it made me felt very unhappy and upset that I just had to leave immediately when I saw them. I just didn't like the idea of them with us or around me.

Went in to school and apparently it was spot check for everything.

Deborah was sent home due to her coloured hair which had like seriously , nothing on. Teachers are seriously blind sometimes.

Andy , Dean and Aloysius were all forced to get their hair cut and they were pretty upset about it.

Didn't check my timetable clearly that I didn't realised there was PE today.

Went out of school with them and headed to have my early breakfast.

Andy left as he needed to accompany his mother to her body checkup.

The rest of them wanted to find Fd and Yx @ Open Plaza.

Literally was damn pissed at what I saw.

It also thought me a lesson that sometimes , people just give empty promises.

Deborah came to find us , weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

After that , we were like doing nothing and lepak-ed around.

I'm still not use to wear my school uniform. :(:(:(

Headed over to school area to fetch Aloysius.

Waited for D to get out.

Went to the connector area once again.

Played cards and chilled out.

Sighs , I just realised that the place there is so full of memories for all of us.

Still remember the times when all of you guys would 'train' with each other while both Deborah and myself would just stone there or play with our hamsters.

Memories oh memories , so sweet yet so bitter.

Went home shortly after that and continued with my ' Hi My Sweetheart' Drama hehhhhhhhh , so in love with it ^^

That's all folks!

This is the hardest part
when you feel like you're faded
All that you have become unreal
collapsing, and aching

And tonight will be the night where lovers will fill the city.

2010-01-04T23:14:00.004+08:00

" In this world , there's something called Love. "

OMG.

It's like monday and that's right I'm getting the Monday Blues once again.

Suprisingly , school was fine today.

It was good to see all my classmates and friends once again after the long holiday.

My form teacher is like the same person -.-

Save me.

Received the time table and stuff and realised that only on fridays , i'm able to report late for school.

Heh. However it's like it'll be starting at 8AM. So , not much of a difference.

Andy , Yr didn't attend school today. Only Dean , Aloysius , Deborah and myself had each other to entertain.

HAH , I can't believe that my classroom is located at the 4th LEVEL.

Can you freaking believe it? For the past 3years in that school , my classroom have never been on the 3rd level , let alone the 4th. It's like killing me every morning whenever I need to get to class.

Had recess and was like so not used to it .

Was pretty annoyed by the noise created and the amount of people in the canteen.

Headed to get my booklist like finally after so long. Apparently , many books are out of stock.

Shixt.

After school , Yr came to find us. Went to somewhere unknown in Tampines to lepak.

Wanted to order MacDelivery however cancelled as we had no freaking idea what was the full address.

Played BlackJack ! and starting talking about someone.

We all just realized that , that particular person we're talking about have changed so much.

Way too much .

It is as if I've no longer know that person anymore after the things the rest told me about.

I was dumbfounded upon hearing what that person did and said .

I really did thought that that person has changed for the better and was no longer the old self.

However , I guess I was proven wrong as that person allowed history to repeat itself once again and is no longer the person I once knew.

Got home at around 6plus and Charlotte came over to my place for awhile to lepak.

Shortly , she left and headed home.

Continued watching my taiwan drama , started talking to Chanel Amandaaaaaaaaaa (:

She's damn cute I swear , we kept on webcamming with each other and started screen shot each other. HAH!

Self-claim sentence of hers , she claims that I love herrrrrrrr.

Heh , okay wait , I do love her.

Can't wait for friday to come! Like after a week or so , can meet up with her.

We're so gonna develope pictures ! Woooottttt.

Bye now!XXOXO.

I have been there,
I used to belive there was no light.
But I found out,
Oh, life is far too short to fight.
Loose yourself, let go of your pain,
Taste the air you breathe and kiss the sky.

As the wall of ours came crashing down,

2009-12-29T21:00:00.002+08:00

" Let the butterflies cry , let them cry for you. "

Supposed to attend work today , end up waking up very late and didn't managed to get to work.

Heh , Mommy gave me a call hoping to try to wake me up , in the end , she failed .

I'm feeling so tired and restless these days that I can't freaking get enough sleep no matter how long I've slept .

FREAK.

Yesterday , was supposed to meet my dear Chanel Amanda Elouise Lai and Charlotte. But gave it a miss in the end as I was too lazy to even get out of the house.

Sorrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :0

Heh. I'm currently hooked up on the taiwan drama called ' Momo Love'

It's damn nice and cute I swear (:

Amanda was like calling and calling me to go , she really is good at it.

You should know what I mean girl (: Heh.

The day before , something cropped up .

It then hit me that not everyone around you seem to be how the way they are.

Like seriously.

You think you know them , yet at the same time , you are filled with doubts. And when you've finally found the answer that you've been searching for , you just wished that you've never known about it.

Screw those people man.

Weijie called me just now , to ask me to attend today's event.

Heard it was a make up for Alcova's previous event.

He was like being a retard talking shitty stuff to me about his friend.

Heh , Weijie ah Weijie.

School's gonna reopen soon and I can't believe it.

I still haven gotten my books ready yet !

I don't know whether I should look forward to school's reopen or not.

~~Thanks to some annoying people.~~

If only things were as simple as last time.

I really miss how we all used to be like. RARRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

I still haven gotten my books yet and school is like so reopening soon!

HELP!

Goodnight, Love.

Did I hurt you?
Did I ever made you bleed inside?
Did I kill you?
I didn't mean to make you hide yourself,
Find you in you, beautiful.
Do not grow the seeds of pain in you,
Goodbye!

Loving you till the extreme.

2009-12-24T04:57:00.001+08:00

" Tried to take a picture of love "

SEASONS GREETING!

It's finally the period we all have been anticipating for.

At last I can start tearing up the wrappers of my presents from relatives and friends.

So how was your Christmas this year?

24th December 2009:

Went to work as usual.

After work , Godma had a mini Xmas party for us.

There were so many goodies to choose from and my favourite to the core , Japanese food! Woooot!

Amanda and the rest were watching a movie.

And like I had to wait for them to finish before coming over.

So while waiting , had present exchange and loads of laughters.

I just love Christmas , for many reasons.

Especially when you're celebrating it with your loved ones.

Anyway , Amanda and the rest finally made it to Heeren.

Shopped around as Charlotte wanted to get a dress before heading down to Alcova.

Cabbed down to Alcova and we were like nearly lost.

Saw a couple of friends there.

The queue was damn long and the club was damn small.

Halfway through , the lights went on as apparently there was a fight or something.

Charlotte started to feel very very unwell , when to 7eleven to purchase some food for her.

While waiting for the queue to reopen , saw Weijie , Yinjie , Shelia , Tingwei , JingSheng , Dexterrrrrrrrrr.

In the end , it was only for 18 and above. -'-

Was so damn pissed and sat down somewhere beside the club with Amanda and the rest while Charlotte cabbed down to Jason's place.

Had supper nearby with Amanda and Mel and headed home shortly after it.

Alcova was seriously a huge dissapointment. :(

25th December 2009:

SHOOPPPPIIINNNNGGG WITH MOMMY @ TOWN.

I regretted suggesting to shop @ Town although I did had gotten my hands on certain items I've been eyeing for a very long time.

IT.WAS.SO.DAMN.PACKED.TO.THE.MAX.

Barely , almost , couldn't move around.

So it was from Wisma Atria for our Japanese lunch> Takashimaya > ION >FarEast>Home.

Mommy and I was like shopping so much for shoes.

I think Mommy really has too many pairs of shoes. Those that know me would know what I mean.

Mommy was damn cute today.

She kept on buying stuff and I had to kept on telling her it's not worth and stuff.

She would give some kind of face and purposely buy it to spike me.

The best thing was that when we got home , after seeing what she bought,she would blame it on me by saying ' Why didn't you stop me when I was purchasing such stuff? '

Cute2themaxz.

AKU NOW VERY VERY VERY VERY X1ZILLION HAPPY CAUSE I'VE GOTTEN MY WEDGES!

Alright , once again , MERRY CHRISTMAS PEOPLE!

withlove.

You never really tried to understand me.
We wouldn't have become how we are now if you really did.
Let's just bid goodbye,
and head our seperate ways from this point onwards.
But please remember , you'll always be a part of me.

Quelque chose qu'on appelle l'amour

2009-12-19T16:40:00.002+08:00

" I hope you'll be fine "

19th Dec (Saturday):

Went to work feeling so damn excited for the party in the evening .

Met my dearest Emilia Elisha , Charlotte , Amanda and her bf after my work @ FarEast.

Waited for the bus which took way too long to 'arrive' (Iris is forever lying to people)

Took a bus all the way down to HF.

Had so many memories there when I alighted from the bus. Just excellent.

Waited for Sky and his friends and Faris at the Tram station.

Reached Wave @ around 10plus.

The music was like so screwed and we ended up cabbing back home.

Had instant noodles @ 7eleven while waiting for the damn cab to arrive.

Didn't realised that I hurt my spine only this morning.

It hurts so bad and made me feel like crap.

Dragged myself outta bed to get prepared for work.

Suffered while taking the bus to the train station all thanks to my spine.

Mommy is like asking me to seek a doctor which is equivalent to see a chinese doctor which I'm terribly fearful towards.

The medicine taste like shixt and the way they 'massage' your back will be like someone punching you.

So , no thanks Mommy for the time being.....

Got home for dinner after my facial , removed my arcylic nails today and my nails grew damn long , only thing is that it's so weak and soft :(

Some even chipped while it was removed. Still deciding on whether I should do extensions once again or just pray that my nails will harden after a few days.

I'm off now.

With loads of love , XXOXO .

I miss every bits and pieces of you.
Everything , everywhere , reminds me of you.
You seemed to be far gone from where I'm standing.
I need to pick up pieces of my heart ,
before meeting you halfway at the end of this journey.
XXOXO, Love.

Woootttt.

2009-12-18T15:36:00.001+08:00

" All your noise is messing with my head , you just seems to be stuck in my head. "

Finally I'm back to blogger.
Like what my dear Emilia Elisha Josie baby said that apparently to her , blogger rocks. Oh well , we'll see about that.
Hah , anyways these days has been great for me.
I'm sooooooooozxzsxzsxzs looking forward for tomorrow's party.
Hope that Amanda and the rest manage to get damn lockers , if not it'll really suck.

Been hanging out with Charlotte , Jason , Amanda , Emilia(aka Yongxin) these days after work.
Work>Cine>Home.
Or maybe the places we go to are like unknown to me.
Yes that's right , I can't really remember the places we have been too.
What happened today was I didn't went for work because I got up late.
Tooo LATE for work .

Panicked but in the end , Godma just told me to go tomorrow instead ON TIME.
SHIXT.
Pray that I'll not be late tomorrow. Urghs.
Talked to my dear daughter online and met up with her at Mac.
From Mac>my place>Plaza Sing.
Headed over down there to meet up with Amanda and Kel , Feroz and Kenny.
Feroz's gonna have his operation soon , hope everything will be fine for you dude!

Chatted and walked around.

Guess what? Today must have been my lucky day.

I paid 1.80 for a bottle of 100plus from a venting machine and popped came out another bottle of green tea.

Yes I know I sound lame. But hell yea babys ! free green tea !

Amanda and Emilia was like laughing at me :@@@@@.

On our way back home , we were like speaking chinese and they had a good laugh at me speaking chinese. Like what only.

Kept on speaking chinese as though we were having chinese lesson.

To Amanda & Emilia : I KNOW HOW TO SPEAK CHEENA OKAY!

So freaking excited for tomorrow ! Gonna see so many people that I've not seen for a very long time.

So long people , Goodnight cruel world

Say your name in silence ,
hear your breath in the dark ,
feel your soul surrounding me .
You're still here.